Meet the student curator
Hi! I’m Ray, I’m a second year Curating and Art History student and I’m one of the student curators this year. I am part of the LGBTQ+ community, I use he/they pronouns, and I am estranged from most members of my family. I am excited to make a collection which highlights the intersectionality of being both queer and estranged.
I feel that it is important to note that for me, these are two separate things. While me and my queerness have not been supported very well by my family, this is not the primary reason for my being estranged. For many people, their estrangement is connected to or because of their queerness.
What is estrangement?
Estrangement is when people have limited or no contact with their biological or adoptive family. This can be caused by disownment, distancing, or be the choice of the individual. Estrangement can occur because of many reasons but in the case of LGBTQ+ people, it is often because their families are unsupportive of their identities.
Contextualising queer people and estrangement
There are various studies and statistics online which claim that LGBTQ+ people are more likely to be estranged than non-LGBTQ+ people. For instance, a study done by the LGBTQ+ charity Just Like Us found that around 46% of LGBTQ+ young adults are estranged from their family, while an even higher number of LGBTQ+ people do not feel close to their immediate family. (See Just Like Us, Positive Futures, January 2023, page 9. https://www.justlikeus.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Positive-Futures-report-by-Just-Like-Us-compressed-for-mobile.pdf.).
Some prominent celebrities who are estranged from at least one family member include Elliot Page and Vivian Wilson (née Musk). I hope that sharing this information will help people reading this see that they are not alone and feel validated.
Why is this topic important?
A study done in 2015 by Stand Alone and Unite states that family rejection of LGBTQ+ people was found to be one of the more common causes for students being estranged. (See Stand Alone and Unite, New Starts, 2015, page 5. https://www.standalone.org.uk/wpcontent/uploads/2013/08/StandAloneUNITEfoundation.pdf).
Keeping in mind the intersectionality between being queer and being estranged, I want to promote positive stories and attitudes towards estrangement, helping to show that people aren’t alone and that family can be found in other places.
This collection
I’ve called my collection “Curating Connections” because I want to explore how LGBTQ+ people create our families. I considered other terms but didn’t want to choose a term which suggests a more negative perspective of estrangement. Instead, I want to prioritise the idea of LGBTQ+ people choosing (curating) our connections, whether that’s by disconnecting from some people, or connecting with others.
I want this collection to make people who are LGBTQ+ and estranged feel less alone, while also informing people who are part of one or neither of these communities about the experiences of people within these two communities.
I want this collection to showcase that estrangement can be a positive thing. While lots of media suggests that estrangement is negative, estrangement is an important tool that can be used to protect people and set boundaries with family members. I want to show that estrangement, while often a very difficult experience, can make people safer and free to be who they are.
I also know that being estranged is a very difficult and complex situation, which is why I want to share a range of stories, experiences and perspectives in the hopes that people looking at my collection can learn something new or engage with different attitudes. I don’t want to alienate anyone or their experiences, I want to create a space where people can learn new things and explore other perspectives.
I know that LGBTQ+ people aren’t a monolith, and neither are their experiences of being estranged. This is why I’d like to offer a diverse range of media and perspectives. With this knowledge and this platform, I want to inform people and show other estranged LGBTQ+ people that they aren’t alone.
Materials
I want to use this space and platform to promote materials exploring LGBTQ+ people and family relationships, whether biological or found. I hope to showcase fiction books, especially ones exploring family relationships or featuring found family, and memoirs by people who are estranged.
I also want to share some charities which people might find helpful, especially ones with information and studies of the intersectionality of being LGBTQ+ and estranged. I also want a range of visual styles, featuring zines, graphic novels, fiction, non fiction, poetry, and more. I’d also like to feature some scientific journal articles about LGBTQ+ people’s experiences of being estranged.
I am very excited for this project and hope to include materials which people will find helpful and interesting to read. I look forward to the completion of this project and am excited to see what the future brings!
What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo. While not about being LGBTQ, I found this to be a really beautiful book exploring childhood trauma and building your own family. I would recommend reading it while waiting for the completion of the collection. This book does have explicit portrayals of child abuse, physical abuse and mental illness/suicidal thoughts, with minor depictions of drug use, racism and misogyny.
This book is part of the University of York library collection.