If you’ve read my previous blog (highly recommended – Feeling lost when thinking of your future? Consider a placement!), you might recall that I’m on my year in industry placement at the Institute of Cancer Therapeutics.
While I’m thoroughly enjoying working life, I’ll admit that settling in came with plenty of challenges. The last two months have been filled with exciting new skills and lab successes. But also lots of getting lost and unexplainable failures. Not to mention that changing routines always takes a toll on me.
I think the thing that hit me hardest was a feeling of inadequacy. So, I would like to take you through that process to hopefully help those of you applying to/currently on a year away or even remaining at university.
What is imposter syndrome?
It’s an unshakable feeling of being a fraud. Feeling as though you’re undeserving of where you are, despite achievements, and that you must be in your current position by mistake. It’s isolating, but it doesn’t have to be. I’ve never met a student or staff member unable to chime into the conversation topic.
How did it affect you during placement?
When I first arrived here, I was incredibly overwhelmed to say the least. Entering an environment where your peers seem to know everything about the field can be daunting. Not only was there a familiar lost feeling in a new city, but I had put an added layer of pressure on myself to impress the academics around me.
I had felt prepared with my love for the related modules and the pre-interview research but, in reality, I knew very little about the specifics of cancer development and research. However, through those first weeks I began to realise that this wasn’t an issue and, actually, it was expected.
How are you dealing with it?
What calms uncertainty most is reminding myself that everything we know is everything we have learned. From walking and times tables to the specificities of DNA replication. Your peers have been on their own journey of struggle and frustration to get to their position.
I’m then reminded that what draws me to science is that there’s always something deeper to learn. A technique, a theory, a revolutionary advancement and so many questions yet to be answered.
By enjoying the process, I’ve realised that one of the best parts of research is joining in on conversations about findings happening across the team and globally. Whether that’s through casual conversation or our regular journal clubs. I think it’s always worthwhile to constantly check in on why you’re there and what your goals are.
Needing extra reassurance? Ask at least one new colleague about their academic journey – it could inspire you!
Any extra tips?
- Create your space – No matter where you are, how big or small your accommodation is or how many things you own, it’s important to create an area you feel comfortable and safe in. This is one of my favourite things to put energy into each year, as I know there’s always a place to completely unwind after a tough day!
- Find balance – I use a physical planner to visualise my week and a whiteboard to break down to-do lists, though you may prefer a digital planner or none at all. The most important part is to constantly check in with your mind and body and take time for you.
- No shame in getting support! – My current position means I’m lucky to have access to in-person mental health support. Don’t panic if this isn’t readily available to you, though – you’re still entitled to the UOY health and wellbeing services. Additionally, for 24/7 support and anonymity, your student email grants access to the ‘talk campus’ app – a platform allowing students globally to chat about their feelings. Many other free messaging services and helplines are also available online. There is always an option if you need it!
Once again, grasp the opportunities presented to you. This is just one tiny step in a lifelong journey.
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