As someone who had never been outside of Turkey before, I was worried about moving to another country.
The main challenge for me was the language barrier, since I had started learning English properly only a year before moving to London.
I expected some cultural differences, but in my mind that mostly meant different foods, music or maybe even tv shows. However, moving to York, made me realise how things can be completely different between countries.
My experience
You know how people kiss twice on the cheek to greet in France? We have the same thing but with hugging twice in Turkey. So during Freshers’ Week, when I moved into my accommodation, I hugged one of my flatmates twice to greet her when we just met.
A year later, we were talking about our first week and she said, “Do you remember when you hugged me twice when we met? It felt really genuine.” I didn’t understand what she meant at first. Then I realised that hugging twice was actually a Turkish thing, and that in the UK, people hug only once!
I had a few experiences like this and remember feeling really embarrassed, because it meant I had greeted everyone twice for a year, even people I had just met. I later talked to a friend from Azerbaijan about this, and he shared a story of his own.
My friend’s experience
In his culture, breakfast is everything. There will be many different dishes on the table, and it can go on for hours. When he moved into his accommodation, he saw one of his British flatmates eating butter on toast every morning. He got so confused and didn’t understand why his flatmate wasn’t having a “normal” big breakfast.
He thought maybe his flatmate couldn’t afford food, so he approached him and said that if he was struggling financially, he could always ask him for help. I had to break it to him that butter on toast is completely normal here. My friend was so embarrassed, and he explained everything to his flatmate the next day.
Learning to laugh and appreciate the journey
Even though we were both really embarrassed at the time, we now laugh about these moments, they remind us how far we’ve come. I still hesitate before hugging someone and my friend still doesn’t understand the breakfast culture here, and that’s totally okay!
After three years in England, I still don’t know many British norms, but I’ve learned to accept how normal it is not to know all of them. Everyone comes from different backgrounds, cultures, and households, and it’s impossible not to feel this way at some point.
You are not alone
When I worked on the International Welcome Team, I had the chance to be a panelist at the International Welcome Talk 2025 where I shared some of my experiences.
After the talk, an international student who had just moved to the UK approached me. She told me that hearing my experience made her feel more at ease, and reassured her that she would adapt to some norms one day and be at peace about not knowing all of them. That conversation made me really emotional and I still remember it.
If you ever find yourself struggling to adapt to the UK or noticing how different the norms are, try to share what you’re going through. You will find so many people feel or have felt the exact same way and that it is completely okay!
– Arjin
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